What is exactly passive aggression?
Have you ever met people who are so relaxed and it seems like they never get angry with anyone or anything at all? Well, then there’s a probability that these people have passive aggression. From the appearance, they are so calm but we feel that there’s a wave of hidden anger from these people’s actions.
For example, in a relationship, it’s really difficult to deal with a passive aggressive person because he/she insists on that they are fine. He/she doesn’t show any anger physically or verbally and doesn’t accept that he/she is in anger. But we get the idea or the vibe that this person is in rage.
Now, think about yourself. Are you a person who denies that you are angry yet you feel furious? To be honest, passive aggression has the capability of destroying any kind of relationship.
So from this article, I give you simple steps to overcome your anger but, if you still cannot get rid of your anger even after following these steps. I recommend you to meet a psychiatrist before things get worse.
This is the first step. When you identify your anger, you can change your behavior as you like. So, one of the best ways to identify whether you have passive aggression is, you have to look at yourself from another person’s perspective. Then you’d be able to realize yourself from another angle. Also, to identify passive anger, another method is keeping a journal. If you make this as a habit and write down your feelings and behavior, you’d be able to get to know the real you.
- What is triggering me?
There’s always a reason for someone’s anger. This is called a trigger. When you realize that something is triggering you, then you can identify the reasons for your anger. It’d better if you write them down because eventually you’d be able to find a pattern and this might come in handy later.
- Do I really need to write them down? But how?
Well, if you are good at remembering each and every detail of your emotions, you won’t need a journal. But, when you write them down, you can know your true feelings. Trust me, there’s no special way of writing. You just have to keep a record when you are triggered as who were you with at that time, what is your relationship with that person, did that person try to manipulate you and how did you respond. So, eventually, you will feel that you are at ease because when you write down what you feel, you are removing the burden you carry within yourself.
- DON’T MAKE ME ANGRY!
This is what you have to understand. In passive aggression, you don’t make your anger visible to others. You just burn inside playing as it’s cool from outside. There might be reasons for hiding your anger as thinking that it’s just wrong to be angry or you don’t get a chance to show that you are angry. However, just keep in your mind that passive aggression is way worse than any other kind of anger.
- Go deep
First, realize that you are another human being with emotions. It’s perfectly fine to be angry. But it’s your duty to identify your anger. There are instances where you are just angry but you don’t know the reason. In moments like these, what’s best to do is to, find the reason. For this, you need effort. You have to do a self-evaluation and understand yourself. Then, we can find a method to control your anger.
- Talk straight
This is the crucial point of the article; straight-talking. As I mentioned above, passive aggression happens when you cannot express your anger in a visible manner. So, if anyone makes you annoyed or simply triggers your anger, it’s up to you to talk straight. You can always tell the other person how his or her actions make you feel. But, keep in mind to express your feelings in a non-offensive way.
If you are angry with yourself and it can also lead to passive aggression. So, in such instances, what you have to do is to talk to yourself.
- Convince yourself
Try this and with the time you’ll find progress in your behavior. When you realize that you are angry, talk to yourself, ask what is the reason, why am I feeling this, what should I do to stop being angry. The thing is, there’s no one to save you except you. So, when you try to convince yourself and find the reasons and solutions for your anger, you can step away from passive aggression.