Sometimes I laughed aloud alone thinking about the jokes and funny moments we shared. I was inspired by him, from the motivation he had to drive towards success.
Even he had to leave me early in my life, we always had been close friends since we were twelve , after knowing that we lived in the same street we get to know each other quickly and got along while going to school and coming back home.
It was truly an amazing friendship, we used to play tennis until it was late, we talked about girls or listened to music. On our way of being adults we shared many first experiences in different things- first homes, first girlfriends, first relationship heartbreaks, and also him becoming a father for a first time.
We shared happiness and sadness together, we were there for each other in every situation. We were the best buddies.
Brad was an amazing guy, always the first up on the floor at a party. Always funny and mood fixing of others. He was kind and warm to others, I always think of how lucky I was to call him my friend.
I often think that how it happened, even though it was cancer and it was his unfortunate fate, I used to worry much about him.
But things have changed now. Whenever I remember him it brings me some kind of peace to my mind and release me from all the problems in mind. I feel I should move on.
Fragility of life
We lose everything at some point. Everything we loved will be gone one day. This is the fragility of life.
There are no guarantees to life. We can never expect things to be same tomorrow as it were today. We cannot think of how long our loved ones will stay with us, or the health and wealth we enjoy today will last until next year , next month or even may be tomorrow.
This is scary and I know it. But you can be empowered by this simple truth. Stick this idea of fragility in your head and you will see a positive side in everything, you will always follow what is important and leave everything else behind. By then you will get the maximum use of your life.
Focusing on our days
One of the funny things we do is, we choose a life to be busy and we always complain about it. We tell we do not have time to follow our passion and goals because we are in a busy life, but this life was chosen by us. We always set things to tomorrow without doing it today, thinking we have unlimited time.
Think about the things you postponed and which never happened.
That new skill you wanted to learn.
That new place you wanted to travel.
That person you wanted to see.
See the life through the lens of finite amount of time and you will be able to make better use of it.
Being thankful for the way things are
How often we are celebrating how the things are? We often worry about future and past, but are we thinking about the present?
In my case I’m a traveler as same as my wife, and luckily we get to travel all the time. It has become a priority in our life. Most of the dream destinations have become reality for us. Every time when I visit a new place for the first time, I’ll take a moment to be thankful for that moment, reflecting how lucky I am. I think of the friend who had passed away , and how I’m luckier than him and so many others who don’t get the chance to visit the place. I embrace this thought in a deeper way which helps me to enjoy my life in full.
Many of the problems we have in day to day life are fairly minor. If you are reading this right now, it means you have access to internet, and most probably you own a device which has internet access, a mobile phone ,laptop or something similar. You have a job and a car and a house too, so what are you worrying about? There are millions of people out there who don’t have anything that you have. First be thankful for the amazing life you have, then when you look at the other problems from that point you will realize how minor all other problems are.
We might not always be successful, that’s because all of are in a phase of “work in progress” . Sooner or later we will all figure the small things in our life. Just give it some time.
Letting things go
There are many toxins in our body, among them anger, hate, regret, envy and disappointment takes the priority
These are just emotions burning fuel inside our body, reducing our energy. But these things are never useful to us.
In my own case, I can, and do, take inspiration from others, but I am aware that if I start to compare too much, envy can follow. I have to watch this.
If I even come close to feeling envy for someone else that I perceive to have more success than me, or be somewhere I want to be, I try to remind myself that I don’t know how these people actually feel.
I don’t know what their story is or how much they have had to sacrifice. I don’t know if they are truly happy, or they’re just masking deep insecurity or self-doubt with lies and a smile. This helps me let go of the desire to compare and simply commit to my own journey.
The same is true of regret. It’s an emotion I have done my best to distance myself from. I’m human and I make mistakes, mistakes I don’t want to repeat. I’ve hurt people close to me that I never want to hurt again with foolish acts or careless words at times. But beating myself up again and again for those mistakes is futile. It’s a waste of the precious life I am lucky to live.
I’m someone that believes in living life. I have lessons to learn, and can use those to fuel me trying to be a better version of me.
Maybe this outlook and approach to life is all part of the aging and maturing process. Or maybe it’s because I’ve gained a rounder perspective of who I am and how lucky I am, and learned to let go of these emotions. Seeing them for what they are, a waste of my focus.
And to be totally transparent, I am very much still a work in progress. I’m far from Zen-like calm all of the time. I still get frustrated at things I shouldn’t. I can still overreact to situations at times. I can still carry a grudge more than I would like to. I still feel the bitter feeling of disappointment in others at times, even though I know this is more about my own expectations than them. I’m getting better at letting things go but I still have a way to go.
When we truly embrace the fact that our lives are precious, we can choose to leave the negativity behind. We can choose to let go of the things that don’t matter so much, on closer inspection.
Making Time for Those That Matter Most
A finite amount of time in this world means we have to prioritize. We have to say no to some things so we can say yes to those things that matter most to us.
This means ensuring there is quality space in our days for our families, our friends, and ourselves. I’m not talking about five minutes snatched here and there while staring at a screen; I’m talking about quality time where we are fully present with those around us and our surroundings.
In the case of time for ourselves, quality time checking in with ourselves can involve a long walk, some meditation, any other act of self-care.
Fleeting Moments in Time
Facing up to the fact that we all have a temporary place in this world should be reason enough to apply a degree of clarity and purpose to our days.
We need to make time for the people that matter most to us.
We need to make time for ourselves.
We need to make time to dream out loud.
It’s wonderful and admirable to work hard, but we need to ensure we’re making ample time to celebrate our successes and enjoy our journeys.
These are fleeting and precious moments in time. Let’s make the most of them.