Jokes to Tickle your Senses

A man and his wife are attending a high school reunion.
A married couple sat at a table at the wife’s high school reunion, with an extremely inebriated man sprawled across from them.
“Do you know that woman?” the wife inquired.

“Yes,” the husband responded. “That is my ex-girlfriend.” She began drinking shortly after our breakup and hasn’t been sober since.”

“Good lord,” the wife said. “Who knew it was possible to celebrate for that long?”

Here are a few more humorous jokes for you.

The Language of Bees

Why did the bee take a language class?

Because it wants to understand the jargon and engage in more meaningful hive chats!

Quantum Barbecue

So Schrödinger, Heisenberg, and Einstein enter a BBQ. Schrödinger puts a cat in a box, Heisenberg forgets about the momentum of sausages, and Einstein simply continues to rain on everyone’s parade with relativity.

Zen Garden Gnomes

Why did the Zen garden gnomes form a meditation group?

Because they desired to discover their inner gnome and attain gnome-enlightenment in the most gnome-encompassing way possible!

Pirates’ Cryptic Map

A pirate discovered a treasure map that included the following riddle: “Dig for riches between the palm trees where the moon and sun meet.” So he dug all day, developed a blister, and discovered it was all a palmistry lesson!

Time-Travelling Baker

Why did the time-traveling baker return to the 18th century?

Knead some historical dough and make some revolutionary buns!

Gardening Ghost

Why did the gardening ghost have such success?

Because it had the greatest “grave” growth advice and understood how to “spiritually” nourish the plants!

Alien’s Phone Upgrade

Why did the extraterrestrial update its communication device?

Because it wanted to explore the universe’s Wi-Fi hotspots while remaining “intergalacti-connected”!

Chicken does stand-up comedy.

Why did the chicken become a stand-up comic?

Because it had a talent for breaking eggs and was always prepared with a cluck-worthy punchline!

Martian Shopping Trip

Why did the Martians come to Earth to shop?

Because they heard our malls had the most recent “interplanetary” fashion trends that were literally out of this world!

Philosophical squirrels

Why do squirrels consider the meaning of life?

Because they are crazy about profound concepts and acorn-troversial talks!