A man and his wife are attending a high school reunion.
A married couple sat at a table at the wife’s high school reunion, with an extremely inebriated man sprawled across from them.
“Do you know that woman?” the wife inquired.
“Yes,” the husband responded. “That is my ex-girlfriend.” She began drinking shortly after our breakup and hasn’t been sober since.”
“Good lord,” the wife said. “Who knew it was possible to celebrate for that long?”
Here are a few more humorous jokes for you.
The Language of Bees
Why did the bee take a language class?
Because it wants to understand the jargon and engage in more meaningful hive chats!
So Schrödinger, Heisenberg, and Einstein enter a BBQ. Schrödinger puts a cat in a box, Heisenberg forgets about the momentum of sausages, and Einstein simply continues to rain on everyone’s parade with relativity.
Zen Garden Gnomes
Why did the Zen garden gnomes form a meditation group?
Because they desired to discover their inner gnome and attain gnome-enlightenment in the most gnome-encompassing way possible!
Pirates’ Cryptic Map
A pirate discovered a treasure map that included the following riddle: “Dig for riches between the palm trees where the moon and sun meet.” So he dug all day, developed a blister, and discovered it was all a palmistry lesson!
Why did the time-traveling baker return to the 18th century?
Knead some historical dough and make some revolutionary buns!
Why did the gardening ghost have such success?
Because it had the greatest “grave” growth advice and understood how to “spiritually” nourish the plants!
Alien’s Phone Upgrade
Why did the extraterrestrial update its communication device?
Because it wanted to explore the universe’s Wi-Fi hotspots while remaining “intergalacti-connected”!
Chicken does stand-up comedy.
Why did the chicken become a stand-up comic?
Because it had a talent for breaking eggs and was always prepared with a cluck-worthy punchline!
Martian Shopping Trip
Why did the Martians come to Earth to shop?
Because they heard our malls had the most recent “interplanetary” fashion trends that were literally out of this world!
Why do squirrels consider the meaning of life?
Because they are crazy about profound concepts and acorn-troversial talks!